Relationships make up every aspect of our lives. And every one of our relationships is modeled after the family.
Look at the mass generational exodus from Christianity. I see the pieces so clearly when I step back and watch. Many of us were tired of the dogmatic oppression that was the church. We viewed the church much like the abused child and their parent. Perhaps this is where all the victimhood came from? Thoughts for another day I’m sure.
Each of us is working to make our selves and our own lives better. We see a ‘good’ person as one that is sharing their successes with the rest of us. And a bad one is one is one that has more than us or at least we perceive them to.
I have people thinking I have money I just won’t share. While others look down on me as though I haven’t made it far enough. I can be in the same store, the same outfit and two different people have completely opposing views of me.
I can choose to be offended in any direction or I can smile, allow others to believe whatever they like, and use the information to my advantage.
Here’s the thing, when people underestimate me they never see me coming and that my dear, is a superpower! Just listen to the perceptions of others, no need to act. The only people that matter will love you regardless. When you understand other people’s perceptions you can choose to self-evaluate. Ask yourself; is what they’re saying true? Could I use this information, no matter how painful or offensive, to improve myself or my life?
When we see how others perceive us it’s information. That’s it! Just plain ole’ information. Listen, take it in, roll around in it a minute. The things that sting are the ones we are supposed to examine about ourselves. You don’t have to show that person they hit a nerve but go home and sit with yourself and get really honest.
There is nothing wrong with information, only what I do with that information. This is a trap many of us fall into far too often of becoming offended by the mere information.
Information is there to help you grow and do better. When a virtual assistant a few years back, on Fivver turned down my gig because my religious views offended them. I found a new VA. Why would I want to force a person to work with me?
Not only is it bad manners to shove things down anyone’s throat. That’s also energy I’m putting into my work and life now. I don’t want that kind of negativity. People are where they are on their journey. This is part of what it means to respect each other’s journey.
If they are willing to forego the money, I can find a new VA. I was shocked when I got turned down the first time but after several times I figured out how to do it myself. *Sidenote* Fivver is a fantastic resource and I use them regularly! I just use people that want to work with me.😉
The difference isn’t that these things aren’t happening to other people, it’a just you are complaining where others are keeping quiet and moving on with positivity! ☺
You may think that being loud about such an injustice is the way to win. And in fact, you will likely have an emotional release. However, you will only show the other person correct and set yourself further behind.
Let me tell you a story;
when I was a child I would eat steak. I loved steak but for some weird reason, I always got the piece with that really chew part I wouldn’t swallow. I would be loud and wonder why it was ‘only me’ that got THAT piece of steak. Well, it wasn’t just me, it’s all steak and I was just making a big hoopla whereas everyone else had learned to thrive despite the small inconvenience. I thought was ‘the only one’. Now looking back I see I was merely naive and misinformed. Often times in life when we remain quiet and be patient we will see how everything fits.
I know now that what I focus on is what I get. I wanted to be a feminist and was angry about being forced into a 1950’s housewife. Well, a few years later and much research, I have great respect for what 1950’s housewives did. They were in many ways, extremely lucky to stay home and take care of their children. Obviously, there was not so great but I think we toss the baby out with the bathwater here.
When we were fighting, I thought we were fighting for all women to get to choose their own path. Now my daughter is embarrassed to like pink
All my love,
Starr Goddess 💋💖